tearmeanewone | rendez-vous + APPOINTMENT POST

Do you ever wish you could have it back? Your childhood? [Elizabeth's eyes are starting to swim the more she thinks about Gai as a lost child looking for direction. She can almost, almost see it in her mind's eye.]

I don't know. It's hard to miss what you never really had in the first place.

[The few months he spent with Shu and the Oumas on Oshima was the closest thing he'd ever had to an actual childhood that he could remember. A lab rat before that, and a child soldier after... hearing stories of other peoples' childhoods always felt like some strange, foreign thing to him.]

[Elizabeth at least had some semblance of a childhood. Yes, it was spent in captivity instead of with other children and games played outdoors, but it wasn't nothing but fear.]

[She blinks and the tears spill over onto the pillow.] What's... what was 'Lost Christmas'?

It was the day on which Japan was nearly destroyed-- the day that started the Apocalypse Virus pandemic. And Shu and I were at the epicenter.

[Those tears don't go unnoticed by Gai. He moves to kiss them away, his heart twisting painfully at the sight. This is exactly what he'd feared - no, what he knew - would happen. It's hard for anyone to hear, he knows that much.]

I'm still not entirely sure how the two of us survived.

[The man in the red coat had said that he survived with his own strength, but was that really possible?]

I'm not going to question it. [Elizabeth's laugh is a little thick and wet, but she lets Gai kiss her.] I'm sorry. I just was thinking you would have made... such a terror of a little boy. [She laughs again, bites her lip and tries not to imagine it any more than she already has. She's failing. She's holding him tighter and wishing she could have saved him.]

[He tries for a laugh too, but there's no real mirth behind it, just a hint of what might be regret.]

Would you believe it if I told you that I was timid and shy before everything happened?

[Shu had been the decisive and brave one, and he'd looked up to him for it. Ironic, really, that he had become what Shu used to be while Shu became what he used to be.]

No, I would say you're lying to sound more impressive. [She laughs wetly again and pushes her forehead into Gai's just to steel herself.] But maybe not. I used to be so naive, I used to think things were simple, and that life outside of my tower would be beautiful all the time.

And you found out it was anything but.

[That's something Gai can understand. He'd had the truth of the world drilled into him at a very young age and life had never given him the chance to forget it.]

I thought I'd escaped one fate only to find myself in the middle of something even bigger. That's just the way life goes, and we can either sit back and let it happen to us or fight to make a change.

[Elizabeth bites her lip harder and nods. Yes, she'd found out life wasn't so simple, and was full of suffering and hate and hardship. She'd found that out quickly, when she was thrown into the deep-end.]

But you've escaped now, haven't you? [She squeezes Gai's hand.] Shift-explosives aside, life is simpler now isn't it?

Yeah.

[The smile he gives her now is a genuine one, as is the squeeze he returns. As full of suffering as life may be, it still has its bright spots too, and those are what make it worth living.]

Living here has been the second-best thing that's ever happened to me.

And the first was leaving Africa, I bet. [Elizabeth smiles back, happy to see Gai is smiling at her genuinely.]

Not even close.

The first was you.

[And he means it.]

..but... [Elizabeth looks floored. She hadn't expected to be put above escaping from a child soldier ring. Or any of the other things that had happened to help Gai down his path.]

But Gai, I haven't changed you in any monumental way, have I?

You have. You've shown me that despite everything I've been through, I'm still capable of loving someone else and being loved. I may be damaged, but I'm not broken, not as long as I can still feel.

You've given me something to want to keep living for, Elizabeth. Nothing in my world or any other could possibly compare to that.

Gai... [Elizabeth sniffs and blinks away the last of her tears.] You're incredible. I couldn't have imagined a more perfect love.

I'm not perfect. Quite the contrary. But that's exactly why I'm so grateful for what I have.

[He gives her a squeeze and brushes his lips against her forehead.]

Well, neither am I. But this-- [She squeezes him back.] It's more perfect than anything I've seen before.

I still don't know what I did to deserve this luck.

[But he is not questioning it, not one bit.]

We'll never know if you or I did something--the universe is more random than anyone thinks it is.

[She runs her fingers through Gai's hair slowly, giving it a little thoughtful comb.] I'm going to kiss you if you don't have to tell me anything else. Otherwise I'll hold off for a moment. [She laughs a little.]

[Gai leans forward a little to press his forehead to hers, just for the contact and the reassurance. There is one more thing he really does want to tell her, one more thing that he knows will probably hurt her more than anything else he's said so far, and it's for that exact reason that he hesitates to do so.

But this is also the one thing that he absolutely doesn't want her to find out via an experiment or any other method that isn't straight from him.]

There is one other thing.

[The gravity of his tone should be self-evident.]

[She sobers as well, her smile falling into a resolved expression. Elizabeth presses back against Gai's forehead and strokes his hair again.]

Alright. Tell me.

[And now, now that he's resolved himself to tell her... suddenly Gai can't find the words for it, doesn't know how to express it in a way that isn't brutal and awful. There really isn't a way to make it any less so.]

... I already told you that you weren't my first.

[That's an easy enough place to start...]

Yes...? [Elizabeth sounds hesitant now, afraid of what Gai's going to tell her. But whatever he's going to say, she's going to bear it with him. She promised him that much.]

It wasn't her fault.

[He's very quick to make that much clear, as he doesn't want blame placed where it doesn't really belong.]

The virus warped her mind, even while she fought so desperately against it. Eve had one objective, and that was to select an Adam to be her mate so that they could create the new human race.

[He pauses, closing his eyes.]

She didn't like the fact that I tried to interfere.

[Elizabeth isn't certain she's connecting the two things together. Her not being Gai's first, and 'Eve' not liking that Gai had interfered.]

She... did she force you to...? [This is the first time she's come so close to this concept, and it shows on her face.]

September 26th - The Marathon... tw for all sorts of horrible child soldier things

September 26th - The Marathon... tw for all sorts of horrible child soldier things

September 26th - The Marathon... tw for all sorts of horrible child soldier things

September 26th - The Marathon... tw for all sorts of horrible child soldier things

September 26th - The Marathon... tw for all sorts of horrible child soldier things

September 26th - The Marathon... tw for all sorts of horrible child soldier things

September 26th - The Marathon... tw for all sorts of horrible child soldier things

September 26th - The Marathon... tw for all sorts of horrible child soldier things

September 26th - The Marathon... tw for all sorts of horrible child soldier things

September 26th - The Marathon... tw for all sorts of horrible child soldier things

September 26th - The Marathon... tw for all sorts of horrible child soldier things

September 26th - The Marathon... tw for all sorts of horrible child soldier things

September 26th - The Marathon... tw for all sorts of horrible child soldier things

September 26th - The Marathon... tw for all sorts of horrible child soldier things

September 26th - The Marathon... tw for all sorts of horrible child soldier things

September 26th - The Marathon... tw for all sorts of horrible child soldier things

September 26th - The Marathon... tw for all sorts of horrible child soldier things

September 26th - The Marathon... tw for all sorts of horrible child soldier things

September 26th - The Marathon... tw for all sorts of horrible child soldier things

September 26th - The Marathon... tw for all sorts of horrible child soldier things

September 26th - The Marathon... tw for all sorts of horrible child soldier things

September 26th - The Marathon... tw for all sorts of horrible child soldier things

September 26th - The Marathon... tw for all sorts of horrible child soldier things

September 26th - The Marathon... tw for all sorts of horrible child soldier things

September 26th - The Marathon... tw for all sorts of horrible child soldier things