tearmeanewone | sept + video

Entry tags:

mallynap

sept + video

[Video]

[When the video starts up, it’s very clear that the recording is accidental and loud--there's a strange whooshing noise that has a mechanical drone to it, and the image of Elizabeth, just outside the library surrounded by odd glowing airstreams, is on its side and at a sharp upward angle, the strap of her bag obscuring a bit of it.]

[Which is fairly alarming in itself. Arcs of light seem to be coming from speaker-shaped instruments attached to the droids surrounding her. Anti-tear measures, to make certain she can’t fight back--perhaps because her boyfriend had already given them too much trouble. Elizabeth clutches her head and screams, trying to run despite feeling as though her head is about to explode. She puts up a fight, kicks and flails, but eventually there's too much to defend against while suffering the dizzying siphon. The droids overpower her and she’s pulled out of the frame and away. Seconds of that strange mechanical drone continue over the feed, then once it’s faded, the video cuts.]

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[Shu sees that expression and it's so shocking to him. So shocking that he lets out a gasp and he can't look at it for too long. He turns away as fast as he can and falls down to his knees. This isn't the Gai that he wanted to become. What was he going to do? Shu didn't like seeing Gai that way.

All he can bring himself to do is let out a sharp yell and cry.]

[Shu's reaction doesn't come as much of a surprise to Gai. In truth, he can probably guess at the exact reasoning behind it: seeing Gai upset must have shattered the illusion Shu held of Gai being a perfect, calm leader. But that's just what it was-- an illusion. Gai wasn't emotionless, not now and not ever. He'd simply perfected the art of acting like he was.

In that sense, it's for the best that Shu came to this discovery now rather than later, before he devoted too much more time to trying to become what he thought Gai was.

Gai won't do or say anything, not yet. Instead, he'll just stand there quietly and let Shu sort things out for himself.]

[Despite finding out the truth about Gai he still wants to keep going like he always had. This makes him even MORE determined to become Gai.

Eventually, Shu figures that the Gai from his own memories wouldn't cry and scream on the floor in agony. He picks himself up and wipes away his tears. There's something cold and unnatural about the expression Shu's wearing. He's forcing himself to be something he's not. However, Shu himself has always been a bad liar. If Gai looks close enough then he can see some tears flowing down from Shu.

He's pretending they're not there. ]

Shu.

[When next Gai speaks, his tone is calmer, more controlled. He sees those tears, and they don't surprise him at all, but he also knows better than to comment on them and put Shu on the defensive. They can both just pretend they aren't there.]

Do you still think I'm nothing more than the way I act as a leader?

[Honest answer? No. Gai's definitely much more than that. It's difficult for him to accept nonetheless. Gai's still someone he wants to become.

Shu grumbles to himself uncomfortably before slowly shaking his head. He doesn't want to say his answer out loud.]

Shu.

[Use your words, Shu. Gai wants to hear you say it out loud.]

[He's wearing a more bitter expression because Gai's making him face the facts. ]

No, you're more than just a leader, Gai.

But...no matter how hard I try I'll never become you.

You don't have to become me. You're fine just the way you are.

[Well. Maybe not the way he is at the moment, but Gai has faith that he'll get there eventually.]

Or maybe I should say that you'll be fine once you stop trying to be me and start trying to be yourself.

Nobody would care about me if I didn't try to become you.

All I'm capable of doing is hurting people. You should know that better than anyone else.

[He killed you, geez. ]

[Shu is really starting to sound like a broken record by now and it is getting on Gai's nerves. There's only one way he can think of to get through to him.

So he draws back his arm... and decks Shu right in the face.]

[Shu lets out a sharp gasp before staring at Gai in disbelief. ]

Gai, I'm sorry.

[He knows it sounds ridiculous, but that's how he still feels.]

Don't apologize to me.

[Shu's behavior irritates him, but he understands that it's just the way the other boy is. If Shu starts apologizing, he isn't going to stop, so Gai would rather cut that off at the pass.]

Focus that energy on something useful. If you aren't happy with who you are right now, then work on improving yourself. But don't think that the way to be happy with yourself is to be like me.

You're right. I shouldn't become you.

I'm just me. I'm Shu Ouma and nothing more.

[He's forcing himself to say those words because he knows it's what Gai wants to hear.]

[Gai isn't fooled, Shu.]

You're the one who is the rightful bearer of the crown, not me. It belonged to you all along.

Why does it matter? [He doesn't care about that right now, sorry Gai.] I'll never be able to hold Inori's hand again.

[He's getting ready to run away. Shu doesn't enjoy having these kinds of discussions with Gai. There's too much he doesn't understand.

As far as he knows, the Void Genome belonged to Gai. ]

So you're giving up before you even try?

[Gai's eyes narrow, the look in them clearly disdainful.]

What can I do here? [Shu's scowling at Gai. Don't tell him he didn't try. He's taking up a more defensive stance now. ]

You can't speak to me that way when you couldn't even protect Elizabeth.

[That definitely hurts a bit-- Shu hit his sore spot, and he too scowls for a moment before shaking it off with a shrug. He can use this to his advantage.]

Why are you so determined to become like me if that's what you really think?

I...

[Shu really doesn't know what to say to that. He's speechless. He thinks about it for a while.]

You wouldn't understand.

[Gai continues to challenge Shu with that icy stare, almost as if he's daring Shu to explain just how he wouldn't understand.]

Someone who has confidence couldn't possibly understand.

[seekeywords

Shu really hopes their argument ends soon but he has to get through to Gai.]

[He stares for a moment longer, then looks away, shaking his head.]

You really have forgotten all about our childhood.

[Shu does feel a bit guilty for it.]

This whole time I thought I had to become you. But you're...[Actually Triton, which he still has trouble wrapping his head around.]

Gai, why did you say those things back in Roppongi?

What things do you mean?

[He said a lot of things back in Roppongi. Shu is going to need to be a little more specific about just what it is that he's referring to, even though Gai has a few guesses.]

I thought we were going to save Mana.

So why did you use Inori the way you say you did later?