Maybe the older part stuck more than the other, but uh. No. ( servants, elizabeth. servants. but refocusing -- ) I know.
( he cracks an eye open to look down at her, moving his fingers up to card through her hair -- still short and choppy, although not nearly as much as it was months ago. )
Do you think I think that's a bad thing? ( he asks, trying to figure his way around this. normally he'd just let it be, but he wants to set the record straight. ) Because I don't, not in the slightest.
Really? [Elizabeth looks up at him, wanting to be reassured. She likes Ivan, more than she should probably, given no doubt he'll move on someday, but she wants to be someone he wants to spend time with for as long as possible.]
I don't mind that you're more experienced than I am but... I just... [She bites her lip and looks embarrassed. She can't believe she's about to admit this.] I don't want to bore you. You must have been with a lot of interesting and... talented women, and you just gave me my first kiss ever.
Every woman's interesting. ( he supplies, which is cliche but also: part of the name of the game. you have to find something interesting about a woman in order to hold a conversation, and the conversation is key to getting what both parties want. he's old hat at this, elizabeth, he's got the moves down. ) You don't bore me. I don't-- ( here he flounders, not used to emotional vulnerability, least of all about his romantic life.
he likes women, and sometimes he does get bored with a relationship. that happens, that's part of relationships as far as he understands. but that's not the only reason. he denies his mother the thing she wants most for him, he doesn't drag someone he cares about into the bloody mess of barrayaran politics. commitment and marriage has ended in death too many times in his family for ivan to feel like he ever wants to bring someone into that. )
Your inexperience isn't going to drive me away. It's kind of exciting, if you're worried about that. ( that's probably not going to help, and ivan flounders more. ) Just be you, that's who I like. That's who I want to date.
[Under normal circumstances, being told just to be herself would be a huge relief. Except she hasn't told Ivan almost... everything. The tears, Comstock, Rapture--]
Ivan--
[He's so handsome. And so warm. And he makes her feel like she can be cared about by someone. Is she really going to risk that for something that isn't operative anymore? That can't happen anymore?]
[No. No way in hell. She deserves one nice thing, just one. He doesn't want to know, she can be herself without dragging him through all of that suffering.]
[She smiles up at him, sliding a hand against his cheek and putting a kiss on the other one.] You say the sweetest things.
( he says with a small smile in return, wrapping his arms around elizabeth to hold her closer to him. she's a comfortable weight on top of him, warm and not too heavy. and a good level of squishiness as well, which ivan always considered a bonus. )
I think you should stay here for a bit, take a break.
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( he cracks an eye open to look down at her, moving his fingers up to card through her hair -- still short and choppy, although not nearly as much as it was months ago. )
Do you think I think that's a bad thing? ( he asks, trying to figure his way around this. normally he'd just let it be, but he wants to set the record straight. ) Because I don't, not in the slightest.
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I don't mind that you're more experienced than I am but... I just... [She bites her lip and looks embarrassed. She can't believe she's about to admit this.] I don't want to bore you. You must have been with a lot of interesting and... talented women, and you just gave me my first kiss ever.
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he likes women, and sometimes he does get bored with a relationship. that happens, that's part of relationships as far as he understands. but that's not the only reason. he denies his mother the thing she wants most for him, he doesn't drag someone he cares about into the bloody mess of barrayaran politics. commitment and marriage has ended in death too many times in his family for ivan to feel like he ever wants to bring someone into that. )
Your inexperience isn't going to drive me away. It's kind of exciting, if you're worried about that. ( that's probably not going to help, and ivan flounders more. ) Just be you, that's who I like. That's who I want to date.
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Ivan--
[He's so handsome. And so warm. And he makes her feel like she can be cared about by someone. Is she really going to risk that for something that isn't operative anymore? That can't happen anymore?]
[No. No way in hell. She deserves one nice thing, just one. He doesn't want to know, she can be herself without dragging him through all of that suffering.]
[She smiles up at him, sliding a hand against his cheek and putting a kiss on the other one.] You say the sweetest things.
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( he says with a small smile in return, wrapping his arms around elizabeth to hold her closer to him. she's a comfortable weight on top of him, warm and not too heavy. and a good level of squishiness as well, which ivan always considered a bonus. )
I think you should stay here for a bit, take a break.
( a further break. with him, obviously. )
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[
I'm not sorry.]I think that's a good idea. What do you think I should do while I'm sitting here, hmm?
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are you ever)Well-- I don't suppose you've got reading you need to catch up on?
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........sometimes.......?]Mm... it can wait.
[She puts her fingers under Ivan's chin and starts them off again, shifting up in his lap to get at his lips again.]
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It sure can. As long as you want.
( who needs books? not ivan vorpatril. )