tearmeanewone | rendez-vous + APPOINTMENT POST

[Evidently Elizabeth is just popular this morning, because Rosalind won't be the only one who comes knocking on her door. The whole procedure leading up to a mission is almost routine to Gai by now after the number of them that he's been on; all he has to do is grab the duffel bag that he keeps packed for just such an occasion, put on his uniform (and small arsenal that he hides underneath it), and head out the door. That's all there is to it.

But this is Elizabeth's first mission, and though he's seen her skills in combat, he knows she's bound to be nervous about this whole situation. Booker hadn't been picked, after all. It's just him and her and a rather vaguely-described situation that supposedly won't end in fighting... not that he's going to place any bets on that.

His knock is louder and firmer than Rosalind's, and if she'd had any question as to who was at her door, his voice should answer that much.]

You almost ready to go?

[Elizabeth had been staring at her medical bag with quiet intensity when Gai knocks. She knows it's him, Booker would probably just walk right in, and Robert's knock would be more hesitant.]

No... [She rubs her face.] I'm still in bed in my nightgown.

[Bit of sarcasm there, probably unwarranted (she's fully dressed and has her hair done up from Rosalind's visit earlier). But she's nervous to go somewhere, potentially into battle, without Booker. She loves Gai, she really does, but going back into a fight without knowing Booker was behind her is scary.]

[Gai detects that hint of sarcasm in her voice when she answers. He also knows that this isn't the time to push or tease about something like this, so if it's time she wants, he's happy to give that to her.]

I'll go wait in the living room until you're done. There isn't much anyone here can get mad at me for if I'm just sitting out the couch and not within ten feet of you.

[Granted, he'll likely feel like he's under a microscope, but he can deal with that.]

[Well she doesn't want that. Knowing Gai is waiting for her would only add to the pressure for her to come out and face the mission. Elizabeth rushes to the door and opens it.]

No, wait-- [Standing in the door and faced with Gai, she doesn't know what to say. So she stares into Gai's eyes for a moment, scared, and then lets her gaze drop to the middle of Gai's chest.]

I don't know what I was thinking... [She pulls the door open wider and turns to wander back to the middle of her room where her bags are.]

[She won't get very far before Gai's arms wrap around her from behind and pull her against him with a gentle but unyielding grip. She's scared; he can tell that much. And he can't blame her one bit for it, either. He's keenly aware that his views on combat are the exception rather than the rule, here and just about everywhere else.]

No matter what happens out there, I won't let any harm come to you. That's a promise.

[Even if it means killing in order to keep that promise.]

[She knew to expect this from Gai, and she believes it of course. Booker and Gai are the two people she trusts most to make certain of her safety. However she's still afraid. The invasion was one thing, she hadn't known what was happening when it was going on. But this was Elizabeth-from-Columbia walking back into a fight.]

I don't know what I was thinking. [Elizabeth reaches up and latches onto Gai's arms, squeezing them slightly.] I just didn't want you or Booker to be alone.

[He laughs, just quietly, leaning his head down to kiss the top of her head. (Had she done her hair like that? It was awfully cute, he had to admit.) It was a sweet sentiment, albeit a somewhat misguided one, as Gai is probably the last person she would need to worry about on a mission or draft.]

I'll be glad for your company. Missions get pretty boring when the only people you have to talk to are ones you don't get along with, save for a few exceptions.

[Not that Gai gets along with that many people, but details. He doesn't go out of his way to be friendly, and he doesn't expect anyone else to do the same to him.]

I'm not talking about company, I'm talking about... backup. [She squeezes Gai's arm again, tensing up in his arms as she tries to control her anxiety.]

When I saw your name on the list, and I saw that doctors were needed... I panicked. If this mission really was as nonviolent as it claims to be, there wouldn't be a need for medical assistance.

[So much for his attempt at casual conversation to get her onto a lighter topic. She's not the only one who'd taken note of that fact, and Gai has had enough experience with these missions to know that it's not uncommon for things to end up going awry in some way.

So he squeezes her right back, trying to reassure her despite his own misgivings about the situation.]

Things have a way of going wrong where missions are concerned. I'm not going to lie to you about that. I've been on enough of them to know that much. But my experience has also been that it's rare for anyone to get seriously injured while on a mission.

That doesn't mean it isn't going to happen this time...! [She squeezes her eyes closed and turns to rest her head against Gai's shoulder.]

I was happy thinking I would never have to fight again, but then the invasion happened, and I was so scared for you and Booker, and I knew the only way I could rest would be if I was there to be sure. But I saw your doctor's name on the list too, and now I just feel absolutely idiotic. I'm going to worry both you and Booker.

[And Gai reaches down to slide a finger beneath her chin and tilt her face up towards his.]

You've already shown me that you're more than capable of taking care of yourself, even if I'm not right there to fight with you. I won't say that I'm not going to worry, but you need to give yourself more credit too.

[She lets Gai tilt her chin up, but she doesn't look reassured or more confident in the slightest. She rests her head on Gai's chest more heavily and looks up at him.]

I don't know how I did it during the invasion. Back in Columbia, no one ever shot at me because I was The Lamb. It would have been like killing the President's daughter.

[Ducking his head down, Gai brushes a kiss over her lips before moving the hand beneath her chin up to stroke her cheek.]

You have to learn not to think about that. Focus on what you're doing, not what might happen. You can't let the fear paralyze you.

[It's a lesson Gai has taught countless times. Somehow, though, it's different this time, because it's Elizabeth.]

[And somehow, that firm statement gets through to Elizabeth more than the reassurances that everything was going to be alright and that she would be fine. She considers the instruction, eyes sliding closed as she rests against Gai's chest again.]

I never let it paralyze me before. I guess I was so ready to be done with fighting and violence, to put all of it behind me and move towards the quiet I'd earned.

But I guess I can't help throwing myself into situations for yours and Booker's sakes, no matter how ready I am.

[Reassurances are something Gai has never been very good at, in part because he never had anyone to reassure him. Instead, he was told to become stronger, to put aside his fear and to act if he wanted to survive. Passing this knowledge on is what comes naturally to him, not comforting.]

You can do it again if you were able to do it before. Just remember that, and remember how you felt when you were able to fight. Call on those memories.

[And then his tone softens, and he pulls her closer.]

We can't be done with fighting until we've won the battle here for good.

[And when will that be, she wonders? It's an unbroken circle, it seems. But in theory it's true. They could rest when the battle was won, and this might bring them closer to doing just that. She hoped, she prayed...]

[Elizabeth turns around and wraps her arms around Gai's back.]

I won't be able to throw you guns and ammo this time. You'll have to be careful with what you have.

[That's something Gai doesn't know the answer to either. He's been fighting for more than a year himself, and from the sound of things, other people have been here for over five. It could take years more before they finally win. Speculation is useless at this point; all they can do is face each new battle as it comes and do their best to win.]

I think I'll be able to handle it. I've fought without any ammo at all before and come out the other side.

Promise me it won't come to that, though. [She clings to the back of Gai's coat, buries her face in his chest.] I can keep you on this side, I don't doubt that, but my supplies won't be as unlimited as I'm used to either. Just promise me you'll be safe when I'm not looking.

I promise.

[He holds her, rubs her back with one hand and kisses her hair. This much, at least, is a promise he knows he can keep. If there's one thing Gai has always been good at doing, it's surviving.]

[As Gai rubs her back, Elizabeth sways a little-- back and forth, almost as though she's trying to dance with Gai without any music.]

How much longer until we have to be there?

[Really, Gai doesn't want to leave at all-- he wants to stay here with her, just like this, and for a moment he actually entertains the notion of just not going at all. But the soldier side of him quickly squashes that thought, tempting though it may be.]

I'd say we could manage a half an hour or so.

[Again, she nods into Gai's chest, takes a deep breath and lets it out.] And we'll probably be working the whole time, won't we? You'll be off charming everyone and I'll be cheerfully medicating pained soldiers.

Not the whole time. There's usually a fair amount of downtime on these missions.

[He rubs her back in soothing circles, just tracing mindless little patterns over the fabric of her shirt.]

The best kind of mission is the one where nothing too exciting happens.

[Elizabeth frowns and looks up at Gai.] How many of these have you been on, anyway?

[Now he grins.]

This'll be my fifth one. I've signed up for every one that comes up, but I guess they didn't want me around for a while.

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