tearmeanewone | rendez-vous + APPOINTMENT POST

Entry tags:

appointments

rendez-vous + APPOINTMENT POST

[This is an appointment post for Elizabeth at

luceti.]

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"It's worse than dying, I won't exist anymore...!"

Those words feel like a knife right in Gai's gut. Elizabeth won't exist. The woman he loves so much, who has become everything to him... she'll be written right out of existence, like erasing a pencil sketch. And what's even worse, she'll be replaced by a stranger, someone who won't know him and certainly won't love him.

He's died before. He knows enough to know that it's not an end, not here in Luceti. But no longer existing... what will that mean for her, even here? Suddenly he feels sick.

"You won't exist...?" The look on his face says everything. There's genuine fear there, something Elizabeth will have never seen in his expression before.

She shakes her head, feeling the tears starting to build up. It's too much, the tent is starting to crack apart with blue light, and nothing she's manifesting is sticking. Her mind is going a mile a minute, she doesn't know what she wants or needs at that moment aside from being right where she is--with Gai.

"Robert... Robert says I have a choice, that I could go anywhere I wanted, I could go to Paris, I could be with you. I want to be with you, more than I want a new life away from Comstock. I would rather remember all of the lies and pain and terror than forget you.

"I thought when Robert told me, that I would feel obligated to go back and stop Comstock. But I can't. I can't. If you want me here, I'll never go back.

"And why-- why does it have to be me?" she asks with a little scoff and laugh. "If Robert's seen it happen, it doesn't have to be me, it could be his Elizabeth who lets everything fall apart, not me! Don't I deserve to be happy, instead of erase everything? Don't I deserve you after everything I did?"

"I want you here," he says, almost before she's even finished speaking. "I want you here with me. I can't return to my own world, so there's no reason for me to leave. If you want to stay here with me, then we can. You don't have to go back. I'll fight anyone who tries to make you return to your world."

He knows it's selfish, but frankly, he doesn't give a damn. She deserves happiness, and if her happiness is here with him? Then he'll fight tooth and nail to preserve that for her. There isn't even a question about that much. "You deserve all the happiness in the world, and I'll do whatever it takes to protect that."

It's probably not the most romantic statement ever. To Gai, however, it's the only way he really knows to express devotion of any sort.

"I'll do whatever it takes too." She turns her head just enough so she can look at Gai, tears spilling over her eyelashes and onto his shirt.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, I knew that day you said I wouldn't miss you and I just... couldn't."

He tries for a little smile, even a weak little laugh as he kisses those tears away. If his little disappointed sounds are her kryptonite, her tears are most definitely his. "I guess I deserve it for not telling you that I'd died in my world."

"And when would that have come up?" Elizabeth repositions herself in an exhausted, defeated sprawl over Gai's torso, legs and arms hanging awkwardly to the side. "Let's dance on this table--by the way, before I arrived here, I died. That isn't going to upset you, is it? Why no, no it doesn't Gai, because I could potentially stop existing if I go home."

It really sounds ridiculous when she puts it that way.

It really does, and the laugh that escapes him this time is a little more genuine as he shifts enough so that he can keep rubbing her back even in this new position. "Put the two of us together and we could almost manage a vaguely normal life between us. ... or maybe that's being a bit too optimistic."

What a pair they make indeed.

"Or at least redefine what 'normal' is supposed to look like," she sighs and hums softly as Gai rubs her back and calms her down. The angry tears that threatened to open subside, and she can eventually move her arms and run her fingers over Gai's shoulder.

"I'm glad I told you, it was weighing on me."

"I'm glad you told me too," he says, just keeping up that gentle massaging. As terrible a thing as it is to hear, the knowledge itself renewed his determination to protect what the two of them have here in Luceti. "Now we're both even."

That's the worst of their secrets out in the open, he supposes. The rest of what he hasn't told her is just details about what he's been through, nothing drastic. And, honestly, if she never wants to know, he's fine with that too.

"I didn't want to make us even. I just didn't want to keep anything from you."

She pulls herself up so she can kiss Gai again. It's less urgent and passionate, but after that revelation she doesn't want to cheapen what they've trusted each other with. Somehow, demanding anything shallow is absolutely impossible right now.

The kiss Gai gives her in return is warm, loving, and most of all relieved-- possibly a strange emotion to be feeling after that revelation, but there is decided relief in knowing that there's nothing left that's hidden from each other. This is, right now, the most honest he's ever been with her or anyone else. He's bared his soul to her and she to him and nothing has changed because of it.

He hadn't been 100% sure that he really knew what love was before. But now... now he does.

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