tearmeanewone | rendez-vous + APPOINTMENT POST

That doesn't mean it isn't going to happen this time...! [She squeezes her eyes closed and turns to rest her head against Gai's shoulder.]

I was happy thinking I would never have to fight again, but then the invasion happened, and I was so scared for you and Booker, and I knew the only way I could rest would be if I was there to be sure. But I saw your doctor's name on the list too, and now I just feel absolutely idiotic. I'm going to worry both you and Booker.

[And Gai reaches down to slide a finger beneath her chin and tilt her face up towards his.]

You've already shown me that you're more than capable of taking care of yourself, even if I'm not right there to fight with you. I won't say that I'm not going to worry, but you need to give yourself more credit too.

[She lets Gai tilt her chin up, but she doesn't look reassured or more confident in the slightest. She rests her head on Gai's chest more heavily and looks up at him.]

I don't know how I did it during the invasion. Back in Columbia, no one ever shot at me because I was The Lamb. It would have been like killing the President's daughter.

[Ducking his head down, Gai brushes a kiss over her lips before moving the hand beneath her chin up to stroke her cheek.]

You have to learn not to think about that. Focus on what you're doing, not what might happen. You can't let the fear paralyze you.

[It's a lesson Gai has taught countless times. Somehow, though, it's different this time, because it's Elizabeth.]

[And somehow, that firm statement gets through to Elizabeth more than the reassurances that everything was going to be alright and that she would be fine. She considers the instruction, eyes sliding closed as she rests against Gai's chest again.]

I never let it paralyze me before. I guess I was so ready to be done with fighting and violence, to put all of it behind me and move towards the quiet I'd earned.

But I guess I can't help throwing myself into situations for yours and Booker's sakes, no matter how ready I am.

[Reassurances are something Gai has never been very good at, in part because he never had anyone to reassure him. Instead, he was told to become stronger, to put aside his fear and to act if he wanted to survive. Passing this knowledge on is what comes naturally to him, not comforting.]

You can do it again if you were able to do it before. Just remember that, and remember how you felt when you were able to fight. Call on those memories.

[And then his tone softens, and he pulls her closer.]

We can't be done with fighting until we've won the battle here for good.

[And when will that be, she wonders? It's an unbroken circle, it seems. But in theory it's true. They could rest when the battle was won, and this might bring them closer to doing just that. She hoped, she prayed...]

[Elizabeth turns around and wraps her arms around Gai's back.]

I won't be able to throw you guns and ammo this time. You'll have to be careful with what you have.

[That's something Gai doesn't know the answer to either. He's been fighting for more than a year himself, and from the sound of things, other people have been here for over five. It could take years more before they finally win. Speculation is useless at this point; all they can do is face each new battle as it comes and do their best to win.]

I think I'll be able to handle it. I've fought without any ammo at all before and come out the other side.

Promise me it won't come to that, though. [She clings to the back of Gai's coat, buries her face in his chest.] I can keep you on this side, I don't doubt that, but my supplies won't be as unlimited as I'm used to either. Just promise me you'll be safe when I'm not looking.

I promise.

[He holds her, rubs her back with one hand and kisses her hair. This much, at least, is a promise he knows he can keep. If there's one thing Gai has always been good at doing, it's surviving.]

[As Gai rubs her back, Elizabeth sways a little-- back and forth, almost as though she's trying to dance with Gai without any music.]

How much longer until we have to be there?

[Really, Gai doesn't want to leave at all-- he wants to stay here with her, just like this, and for a moment he actually entertains the notion of just not going at all. But the soldier side of him quickly squashes that thought, tempting though it may be.]

I'd say we could manage a half an hour or so.

[Again, she nods into Gai's chest, takes a deep breath and lets it out.] And we'll probably be working the whole time, won't we? You'll be off charming everyone and I'll be cheerfully medicating pained soldiers.

Not the whole time. There's usually a fair amount of downtime on these missions.

[He rubs her back in soothing circles, just tracing mindless little patterns over the fabric of her shirt.]

The best kind of mission is the one where nothing too exciting happens.

[Elizabeth frowns and looks up at Gai.] How many of these have you been on, anyway?

[Now he grins.]

This'll be my fifth one. I've signed up for every one that comes up, but I guess they didn't want me around for a while.

Fifth? [Elizabeth gapes a little.] No wonder you signed up so quickly.

[His expression darkens slightly, settles into something almost resigned.]

I told you, fighting is the only thing I know. I don't like sitting around and feeling useless even without the threat of the GHQ hanging over my head.

[Ah... yes, she remembers now but she hadn't made the connection. Elizabeth nods and tucks her head back against Gai's chest.]

I suppose this is like visiting home for you, then.

Something like that.

[He's not proud of it, that much is for certain. It's ironic, really, that even here, in a place where there's nothing compelling him to fight, he chooses to do so anyway.]

[Elizabeth lets that hang for a moment, debating whether she should put on a brave face and let the subject drop or say something else. In the end, she decides to do a little bit of both.]

But if you have expertise, it only makes sense to use it. Otherwise they might send someone who doesn't know what they're doing.

[And Gai is glad for that-- it's the response he wanted to hear, to know that she felt his skills were needed and that she wasn't going to try to talk him out of it.]

You've got a point. The MSF have a low enough opinion of us as it is; the last thing we'd want is to prove them right by botching a mission.

[Elizabeth snorts into Gai's chest.] I don't care who thinks what about us. I just don't want you hurt.

I managed to make it through my other missions, didn't I?

[He pulls back just enough to reach down and poke her nose with his finger.]

[Elizabeth wriggles her nose after Gai pokes it.] So you don't need me watching your back? Is that the bottom line? [She arches an eyebrow at him.]

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